Saturday, April 16, 2011

I Am Mine

There is a song by Pearl Jam called "I Am Mine." The lyrics go "I know I was born and I know that I'll die. The in-between is mine. I am mine." I love that line, and I have made it one of my mantras. Another good one is "I only own my mind."

I am going through a horribly rough time right now. My grandmother died in September at the ripe old age of 95. My mother, who has Alzheimer's. had to go into nursing care in February. And my father went into the ICU Thursday night. This morning (Saturday) they had to intubate him. He has taken a couple of steps backwards, but this could be a good thing to help him finally recover. He has a lot of medical problems right now. We are extremely close and it is very hard for me.

My sister has also come to town to help out for a bit, but she cannot stay as long as I can. It is up to me to be the strong one who takes care of a lot of the problems. But I have a choice. I can choose to let it get me completely down and get depressed. Or, I can let out my emotions and just continue to deal with what life throws at me, one step at a time.

Do I cry? Yes. If I don't cry it makes it worse. Have I stopped doing what I love? Absolutely not. I take care of what needs to be done and try to have a little fun at the same time. I take things seriously, yet try to find ways to chuckle. I am the one who is in control of my reactions. I am mine. I can do what I need to do and not lose face.

Another great song lyric that pops into my head is "I am a rock. I am an island." That describes precisely how I am feeling right now.

Or check out this live version from Reading '06. Pearl Jam is always better live. :-D


  1. Good mantra for life. I’m stopping by from the A to Z challenge and I look forward to reading more from you.

  2. I admire your courage in doing what you're doing. All the best for your parents, and thank you for inspiring me to do better in my own life.

  3. You're awesome! Life can be rough. But I think you are handling things extremely well. Your family as in my continued positive thoughts and prayers.

  4. Very wise approach. Your family is in my prayers.

    My “N” post is right here:

    And you can find the “M” one here:

  5. Pearl Jam is one of my favorite bands. Thank you for reminding me of this song.

    I always see tears as a release valve. You cry, your emotions are in balance, and you can deal with life again... Alzheimer's is in my life too, my father has it...

    It must be so hard for you dealing with all these changes. I wish you lots of strength.

    Greetings from a fellow A to Z blogger